100 small jokes jobber

One page checkout and some other small changes.

I need a skilled basic video making editor who is seasoned in manipulating audio and visuals and fluent in english language to modify a nursery rhyme video. The project involves: ? Take note: this is a 100 videos English nursery rhyme for 100$ project Looking for basic video maker ?? ✓ basic animation ✓with music ✓no copyright ✓3 to 5 minutes video ✓ English subtitle ✓ nursery rhymes ✓ A B C D ✓ 1 2 3 4 ✓ $1 per video ✓reels $0.50 to $1 1 minute Pm ? ? - Adding english subtitles to the video, implying the need for excellent English writing and reading skills. - Removing background noise for a clear and crisp audio output. Proficiency in audio editing tools is crucial. - Adjusting the brightness and contrast to achieve optimal picture quality. This requires a keen ...

I am in need of a professional who can design a lead generation page aimed at small business owners. The page is meant to collect both email addresses and phone numbers. Key requirements: - Design, build, and optimize a lead generation page specifically for small business owners - Ensure the page is user-friendly and effectively captures both email addresses and phone numbers - Implement best practices for lead generation and data collection Ideal Skills and Experience: - Proven track record in designing and creating effective lead generation pages - Understanding of user experience and conversion optimization - Familiarity with lead capture software and tools - Previous experience working with small business owners is a plus

Defined the Scopes of Works, duty, or task (let said the "tasks") show as below: "Basic Scope" (I need you to do) 1. Initial Financial Statement Drafting (Basic Income Statement, Balance Sheet, change of Equity, and cash flow) as of 2024 March 31st (Year End 31-03-2024) 2. Maintain the company account and record transaction recorded (e.g: Journal Enters) 3. Recording and reconciliation of banking, AP, and AR transactions 4. prepare the accounting schedule (The “schedules”); A. Account Receivable, B. Account Payable, C. Payroll (Included MPF) D. Loan, E. Accrued expense. F. Amount due from/to G. Bank transaction. H. Fixed asset (with depreciation) 5. Prepare monthly financial statement (with the schedules Above) "Additional Scope" (I want you to do)...

I'm looking for a mechanism design expert who can help me with designing a small mechanism. Your main task will be to provide a detailed force analysis, create a CAD model, present concept sketches, generate a Bill of Materials (BOM), conduct Finite Element Analysis (FEA), and provide cost estimates. Key Responsibilities: - Designing a small mechanism (I will specify details if awarded). - Conducting thorough force analysis to ensure the mechanism's efficiency and safety. - Providing a detailed CAD model of the designed mechanism. - Creating concept sketches for visualization. - Developing a Bill of Materials (BOM) for easy procurement of the required parts. - Performing Finite Element Analysis (FEA) to ensure the mechanism's stability. - Providing accurate co...

I'm in need of a skilled and experienced draftsman who can help me draft floor plans, elevations, and sections for a small residential house of less than 200sqm. I have a full set of plans already i just need someone to redraw them on a different title block and make some changes to the windows for me. It's only changes to 3 windows and adding a door to the garage. very simple If we work together well then i am hoping to go in to more detailed bathroom and kitchen plans. Ideally, I'm looking for a freelancer who can translate my vision into accurate and construction-ready plans. Please only bid if you have a portfolio in residential house drafting. I would also like a copy of the revit file so I can make my own amendments. We use Revit 2025.

Get me ranking in the top 100 for each of the keywords. Work to be done within 30 days. If rank for all keywords not obtained within 30 days, project will be cancelled. Do not bid on the project if you do not agree. Target Country is USA 1 - Accident Lawyers 2 - Truck Accident Lawyers 3 - Car Accident Lawyers 4 - Boat Accident Lawyers 5 - Construction Accident Lawyers 6 - Lyft Accident Lawyers 7 - Uber Accident Lawyers 8 - Pool Accident Lawyers 9 - Personal Injury Lawyers 10 - Motor Vehicle Accident Lawyers 11 - Personal Injury Lawyer Near Me 12 - Lawyer For Car Accident 13 - Personal Accident Lawyer 14 - Car Lawyer Accident 15 - Attorney Personal Injury Near Me 16 - Accident Lawyers Car 17 - Personal Injury Lawyer Attorney 18 - Car Accident Attorney Lawyer 19 - Accident Lawyer...

I am looking for a professional sales specialist to promote and sell employee benefits, including health insurance, retirement plans, disability insurance, and ancillary-life ...must have a background in sales, preferably with experience in similar products and services. • Key expertise: Sales strategy, customer relationship management, and excellent communication skills. • The focus is on small businesses with fewer than 100 employees. Therefore, understanding of this market segment will be beneficial. • This position is not aimed at a specific industry; instead, it applies to all small businesses across industries. So, versatility and the ability to adapt strategies to different sectors will be crucial. Get in touch if you think you can turn smal...

I'm urgently requiring a skilled professional to assist with three key HR functions in my growing small business. These include: - Hiring and Recruitment: Expertise in this area is especially critical as choosing the right candidates is the backbone for a successful venture. - Training and Development: Your role would be to design and implement development strategies to nurture employee skills and maximize their job performance. - Performance Management: To ensure alignment with business goals, you would be in-charge of setting up a performance management system and spearheading the process. It is paramount for the ideal hire to have experience with implementing such functions within a smaller organization, understanding the unique challenges and opportunities that come with ...

I have less than 100 scanned pages of text data that need to be entered into a digital format. The scanned documents are clear and the text is legible. I am looking for a detail-oriented professional to help me with this task. Ideal skills and experience for this job include: - Proficiency in data entry - Attention to detail - Familiarity with working with scanned documents - Ability to accurately transcribe text - Time management skills to complete the task in a timely manner If you have experience in similar projects and feel confident in your abilities to complete this job efficiently, I would love to hear from you.

YOUR BID PRICE IS FINAL. NO LATER CHANGE ALLOWED. I need an Experienced WordPress guy to fix my two problems in two different WordPress site. One site has problem in loading Google Map, place prediction () and in another site, you just have to implement Subscription plan (all required plugins are already installed; you just have to follow support team documentation) Please complete within 3 days

...specifically at small businesses. Key Responsibilities: - Perform END TO END sales for the cyber security solution and service and Hr staffing sales The ideal candidate should have: - Proven sales experience in the cyber security industry, particularly with small businesses or large Business - Strong understanding of the cyber security landscape and the ability to communicate complex security concepts in a clear and concise manner. - Excellent interpersonal and communication skills, with the ability to build and maintain strong client relationships. - Prior experience with vulnerability assessments, managed security services and cyber security HR services is a plus. This is a fantastic opportunity for an experienced cyber security consultant to make a real impact i...

Need developer with experience in android app to help in fixing error Requirements are Must have knowledge about mobile apps And have skills about android apps and game

I'm in need of a creative writer to come up with "Would You Rather" jokes for a middle school audience. The jokes should: - Be suitable for middle school students. - Be delivered in written form, without the need for illustrations or audio. - not IA generated - not from internet or from existing books (sorry, we already have them all) Ideal candidates for this project are: - Experienced writers or joke creators who understand the unique sense of humor of middle schoolers. - Able to produce engaging and fun content that is suitable for kids/family party. - Creative and able to come up with a wide range of jokes on different everyday topics. Your work will help entertain and engage our young listeners and must respect the target audience's age an...

...need to perfectly mirror the display box design for just the front and back. Key Responsibilities: - Convert finished display box design onto small cardboard boxes - Ensure the design is glossy and visually appealing - Ensure the dimensions are accurate and suitable for small items Ideal Skills and Experience: - Graphic Design: Proficiency in software like Adobe Illustrator or InDesign for creating the designs is crucial. - Packaging Design: Experience in designing product packaging is a plus, as it will help in ensuring the individual boxes are functional and visually appealing. - Attention to Detail: Precision in translating the design to small boxes is crucial. - Knowledge of Cardboard: Understanding the constraints and possibilities of cardboard material is i...

...completed, so this project only involves taking the existing finished designs and adjusting them to fit the dimensions of small boxes. - Time is of the essence, so I need this completed in less than 4 days. - The key modification required is resizing the designs to fit the small box dimensions. There is no need for any other design changes, just adjusting the size. Ideal skills and experience for this job include: - Proficiency in design software, particularly Adobe Illustrator, as the designs are currently in PDF format. - Experience in resizing and adjusting designs to fit specific dimensions. - Excellent attention to detail to ensure the resized designs fit the small boxes perfectly. If you are confident in your design skills and can meet this tight deadline, I...

I have a mobile app that i need to upgrade and make some changes to. Maybe move it to a cross platform if the price is right.

Handwritten/Manual Structural Engineering Calculations for concrete water tank and steel warehouse.

Fix issue with enclouser Extend the pcb by 20mm

I have a small indoor garden space that I'm looking to completely transform. Key requirements: - I'm aiming for a modern style with this redesign. The new design should reflect a clean, minimalist aesthetic with a touch of elegance. - While the current garden is small, I'm open to other creative options to enhance the space. Skills and experience: - Proven experience with indoor garden design is crucial for this project. Previous modern garden projects in particular would be a big plus. - Creative skills to come up with innovative ideas to make the most of a small space. - Strong communication skills are important, as I'm looking for someone who can understand and translate my vision into a physical design. Please include a portfolio of your p...

I'm on the hunt for a skillful coder proficient in web scraping, specifically for Website A. The goal of this project is for obtaining valuable and significant data for analysis, competitive intelligence, and price comparison. While there's no explicit mention of the type of data to be scraped, I anticipate that a capable offering will cater to a variety of needs such as: - Text content - Image content - Metadata Ideal Experience and Skills: - Proven experience with web scraping - High proficiency in handling large data sets - Comfort in navigating Website A - Ability to collect comprehensive data categories Looking forward to a potential collaboration to achieve this goal!

Please submit a voice recording using to apply to this job, you must submit a voice recording telling about your experience & schedule (must speak Spanish & English) If you do not submit a recording, we will not contact you. The pay is $100 / week, starting.

I'm looking for a skilled writer to craft 20 engaging, 100-word paragraphs . The topic of the paragraphs is yet to be determined, as I'm open to suggestions, but should be suitable for a general audience. Ideal skills and experience: - Proven experience in creative writing - Ability to write engaging, concise 100-word paragraphs - Versatile writing style that can adapt to different topics - Understanding of how to tailor content for a general audience

I am seeking a creative and skilled designer to provide a fresh and innovative ceiling design for a small room, up to 100 sq ft in size. The focus will be on a wooden finish as that is my preferred material. Ideal Skills/Experience: • Prior experience with wood-based ceiling designs • Ability to propose designs suitable for a small space • Understanding of how to adequately balance aesthetics and function • Proven track record of performing high-quality work in specified timelines Responsibilities: • Propose potential ceiling designs that will enhance the room • Provide me with a detailed visualization of the proposed designs • Revise designs based on my feedback, if necessary Note: Since I skipped the preferred style question, I...

I'm seeking a skilled graphics designer to assist in creating a series of small-sized images. Key Project Details: - The images will be small in size, perfect for use on social media, websites, and other digital platforms. - The specific dimensions of the images are yet to be decided, so flexibility in this regard is required. - There's no specific theme or style for these images, so the designer will have creative freedom to propose ideas and execute them. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Proven experience in creating high-quality images, especially for digital use. - Great understanding of design principles. - Ability to work independently and come up with creative and original ideas. - Strong communication skills to ensure we're on the same page throughout ...

We are looking for small HR are system for 50 or 100 employees

Redesign of small objects in my logo

I need an experienced Python developer for data analysis. Your primary role will involve: - Sorting and arranging small datasets (less than 1GB) - Applying your skills primarily to mixed data, including both numerical and textual elements The ideal candidate would possess a strong background in Python along with a solid understanding of data analysis. You must be highly efficient in reading, sorting and managing mixed datasets. Experience working on a similar project or scope would be a significant plus. Providing data analysis insights is also a bonus.

I need a concise yet effective Wix website composed of 1-5 pages tailored to the general public. The main functionalities or specifics were not chosen, making this a unique and creative project. Skills and Experience: - Proven track record of designing Wix websites, preferably for a diverse audience. - Creativity in website layout and design to engage site visitors. - Understanding of the best practices in website navigation and architecture. - Efficiency in communication for proper understanding of potential modifications. While the specifics of this website creation project are undefined, I look forward to working collaboratively with an accomplished freelancer to achieve the best outcome.

I am in need of a skilled photographer to capture professional headshots of 1-5 individuals on my team. These photos will be used across various platforms including our company website, our LinkedIn profiles, and other social media accounts. The photoshoot will take place outdoors, hence, I'm looking for someone who has experience and can masterfully utilize natural light for high-quality results. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Proven experience as a professional headshot photographer - Expertise in outdoor photography utilizing natural lighting - High quality portfolio demonstrating past work - Ability to guide subjects for best results in terms of posture and expressions. Your bid should include the total cost for the entire photoshoot and delivery of edited, print-ready images. ...

I need a skilled 3D designer to create a small, realistic airsoft grenade design. The STL file should have: - Detachable parts to add an element of realism and functionality - Multiple color patterns to mimic a genuine grenade - Realistic texture that ensures a life-like feel when handled Your proficiency in 3D designing software, understanding of airsoft replicas, and your consideration of usability in design will be beneficial for this project.

I am in need of an accountant who can help with tax preparation for my small business. Key Requirements: - Expertise in tax preparation for both businesses and individuals - Experience working with small businesses (1-10 employees) - Strong knowledge of tax codes and regulations Ideal Skills: - Proficient in financial software - Strong analytical and problem-solving skills - Excellent attention to detail and accuracy - Good communication and interpersonal skills - Ability to meet deadlines Please provide a brief overview of your relevant experience and approach to tax preparation.

I'm looking for a skilled landscape designer to create a modern, sophisticated layout for my small entrance area (under 100sq ft). I am keen to incorporate elements such as artificial grass, tiles, white stone and plants. Ideally, you will have: - Proven experience in landscaping, specifically with modern designs - Ability to work with a small space and make it look larger - Expertise in choosing and arranging suitable plants - Knowledge of how to incorporate requested elements elegantly into the design - An eye for contemporary aesthetics and a knack for utilizing space creatively. I look forward to seeing your innovative and modern interpretation of my front entrance landscaping.

I'm in need of a PCB layout for a small electronic product. Here are the specifics: - The purpose of the layout is for electronic product manufacturing, not for circuit prototyping or repair. - The PCB must be designed to fit within a small size constraint, specifically less than 10x10 cm. - The PCB should be a double-layered design. Ideal skills and experience for this job include: - Proficiency in PCB layout design, particularly for small, double-layered boards - Prior experience in designing for electronic product manufacturing - Attention to detail and ability to work within specific size constraints.

I'm seeking an experienced Elementor professional who can address a specific problem with my website's header. The issue is that the old header is still displaying on small screens, despite recently updating the header design. My budget is 600 Work on Anydesk Key responsibilities include: - Identify the source of the issue: The freelancer should be able to pinpoint the cause of this problem. - Implement a responsive solution: The ideal candidate should have the skills to make necessary changes to ensure the correct header displays on all screen sizes. - Review and test: After implementing a solution, the freelancer should test the site thoroughly to ensure the issue has been resolved and the header displays as intended on all devices. Ideal skills and experience: - Prio...

...talented designer to craft a unique, small patio where I can chill and take some time off. Key project details: Mallorca Patio with Pool - Purpose: The patio will be primarily used for relaxation and leisure, so keep that in mind while designing. Also dining option should be added. - Materials: As I didn't specify any preferred materials, I encourage you to be creative! Whether it's wood, concrete, pavers, or a mix, I'm open to any ideas that would blend well in a relaxation space. We already got some furniture, please add in your design. - Size: It'll be small (under 200 square feet), and I'd like it to be well-organized and efficiently designed. Ideal Skills: - Landscape design - Creative thinking - Knowledge of outdoor materials - Exper...

I am looking for a skilled individual to set up ClickUp for my small team. We are less than 10 members and primarily need it for task management and team collaboration. Key Requirements: - Configuration of ClickUp for task management - Set up of collaboration tools to enhance team communication and efficiency - Integration with Email and Calendar for seamless workflow - Integration with our CRM software for better customer management - Linking with our file storage services for easy access to relevant documents Ideal Skills: - Proven experience in setting up ClickUp for small teams - Strong understanding of task management and team collaboration tools - Familiarity with Email and Calendar integration - Previous experience with CRM software integration - Knowledge of linking...

I'm looking for a networking professional to assist me in setting up a Local Area Network (LAN) with the primary purpose of facilitating easy file sharing among a small number of devices, specifically less than 10. Key requirements: - Establish a Local Area Network: The main goal of the project is to set up a local network that ensures a seamless connection among the devices for file sharing purpose. - Secure File Sharing: The network should be configured in a way that file sharing is secure and only accessible to the authorized devices. - Minimal Device Connectivity: As the network is intended for a small group of less than 10 devices, the setup should be simple and efficient without compromising security. Ideal Skills: - Networking Expertise: A deep understanding of ...

Before applying for the task, please read the following: - I will include a code word at the end of the text to ensure you have read it thoroughly. When you apply, please start with this code word; I will ignore everything else. - The price and time you provide will be considered fixed, so please adhere to them as I will not negotiate. - I will explain the task as precisely as possible and provide the necessary login credentials. Here is the task: My website is a multi-vendor platform where sellers list their products. When sellers upload products, they had to specify product images and gallery images separately for image uploads. I asked the previous freelancer to automate this so that the product image would automatically become a gallery image as well. Unfortunately, they messed it...

...seeking a data-savvy individual with experience in compiling email lists to help me create a targeted list of small businesses in Australia for my email marketing campaigns. I will provide the business types I'm interested in: retail stores, restaurants, and service providers. Key Responsibilities: - Research and compile a comprehensive email list of small businesses across Australia, specifically in the retail, restaurant and service provider sectors. - Ensure the list is accurate, up-to-date, and segmented according to the provided business types. Ideal Candidate: - Experience in creating targeted email lists, particularly for small businesses. - Familiarity with Australian small business landscape. - Attention to detail to ensure list accuracy. Pl...

Moda windows and doors Thailand need a comprehensive tool that can draft and manage quotations, invoices, and tax receipts. The ideal candidate should be able to: - Develop a user-friendly Android app with the primary functionality of creating quotations, generating invoices, and issuing tax receipts. - Include features such as data storage, enabling the app to keep track of past transactions. - Implement a PDF generation feature to allow for easy sharing and printing of documents. - Incorporate customer management functionalities, making it easy to access and edit customer details. - Calculate the cost per square meter accurately for windows and doors. The tool has to be versatile and compatible with different platforms to enhance its usability.

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I need an Android or PC based application for creating quotations, generating invoices, and tax receipts. It should support offline functionality, with essential features available without an internet connection. Key Features: - Creating Quotations: The app should allow users to create comprehensive and customizable quotations, including options to choose profile, colour, glass, mosquito netting, etc. - Generating Invoices: Users should be able to conveniently generate invoices based on the created quotations. - Generating Tax Receipts: The app should also support the generation of tax receipts. Additional Requirements: - Save as PDF: The ability to save these documents in a PDF format is essential. - Customer Data: The app should maintain a database of customer information. - Edit Old ...

Small update to the android app. Change the payment gateway "cryptomus" to stripe. After that. Compile the code to obtain the apk version and an .aab version that will be used in the Google Play Store. In turn, upload the updated code to the app server. Send me the updated source code as well. The app is made on react Native, and the backend is Python. All the API's are made on Python. This may require modification in FrontEnd. in that case. You must be able to complete the project. Maximum budget $300

the location of the task is in Navi Mumbai and physical attendance is needed I require comprehensive as-built drawings for a small residential building that needs to undergo renovation. The scope is to cover the entire building, with an emphasis on structural details, floor plan and elevation. The primary purpose of these drawings is to facilitate architect to get a proper dimensional plan of the building as it is along with heights i have a laser device for measurement if that helps and structure is about 1600 square feet x ground + 2 floors

I'm seeking a professional to aid in the architectural and design plan of a small dental surgery. Key Responsibilities: - Develop a practical, efficient layout for 2 operatories - Sterlization room - staff room (kitchen) - Incorporate a waiting area into the design Ideal candidate will have: - Proven experience in similar healthcare projects - Proficiency in architectural & interior design - A demonstratable understanding of dental clinic needs. The area is 83 sqm (shop number 72 - red marking).

i will explain details in chat

...create a subscription-based website, targeting small business owners. Key project requirements: - Develop a subscription service website from scratch - Ensure smooth and secure subscription and payment process - User-friendly experience for small business owners - Clean, professional design that appeals to business audience - Extensive experience in website development is a must - Knowledge of payment gateway integration necessary - Familiarity with business-oriented website design and functionalities is preferred The end goal is an easy-to-navigate, secure, and efficient service subscription website for small businesses. Being a part of this project means not only creating a functional website, but also contributing to the success and growth of small bus...

we have made a scan for a wordpress site and there are some elements that are taking more time to load that it should, thus slowing down the website and loosing google ranking. The item with the highest content playback 15,750 ms Remove resources that block playback You can save 2850ms Stream images in modern for...with the highest content playback 15,750 ms Remove resources that block playback You can save 2850ms Stream images in modern formats You can save 2,205 KiB Minimizes main thread processing 2.7s Encode images efficiently You can save 1,577 KiB Reduce unused CSS content You can save 63 KiB Size images correctly You can save 118 KiB Those are the results from scanning that should be fixed. Small project, bid should be final bid. No bid increase possible after pla...