Need a simple data merge solution

Heres what i want to do- i have a database online with my customer phone numbers on my company website, i also use textedly for text marketing to my customers and on that site there is ANOTHER list of customers (completely different from the one on our company site). I need to first merge the two sets of data and NOT create duplicates, and then i would like to also import the final list of phone numbers to my icoud so that they appear in my contacts. please tell me your solution (note this needs to be a permanent solution, not a temporary fix). Write me a message and explain how you would do it for me, thru script or what not. Ideally i would like to have all the customer data on my own website but i dont have the ability to text customers, like on [login to view URL] if you could implement that feature (all features that textedly offers) on to my site then that would be idea. Please again leave me your input in a instant message. i will reply when i can. i will not be online, so please leave me a chat message and dont type a bunch of garbage into the bid that im not asking for. i will know and delete it because its not what im asking for. SO the first step is to make sure you can follow directions well. Thank you