Well, I was born a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. Get it? Nah, I was born in 1990. In Michigan. When I was a child, my mom said I ate so much that she couldn’t buy me clothes that fit. I was a toddler with a Britney Spears midriff through the end of the 90’s. That’s how I got competitive. The other kids used to pick on me, so I got superb at coming up with comebacks. Now, I’m a great writer. I’m highly competitive. And I’m a winner.
Just joking, the best way to describe myself is like an IT guy.